The Nineteenth Ring

One of the most interesting and beautiful things about nature is that it keeps its own record. Have you ever seen a tree stump? Even if you haven't you may already know this, but for every year that a tree has lived, it forms a ring. This happens in such a fashion that if you took a slice of the trunk of a tree, you could count how long that tree has lived. Ecologists can even analyze what happened in certain years based on the markings or colors from different rings. A tree stump can tell stories of disease, draught, and years where life was thriving.

So this is my nineteenth ring. And even though past rings may be marked with pits or discoloration, every year I get a fresh start - a new ring to create. The amazing things about tree rings is that we can see how life moves on - whether the year was overwhelming, underwhelming, or simply there in the shade.

So far, I see this ring marked with scars from fighting - fighting for Christ. This year has been exhausting with all the faith challenges that have come up. From living on a campus that is dealing with racial and sexual orientation discrimination to dealing with the harsh family of my new friend to having my best friend on the other side of the planet for a year, it has been a struggle.

But in these struggles, I have found blessings. And one of them has a name - Sarah Basham. In the spring I got a call from a soworker at Great Clips saying that she might have a better summer job for me. She told me about a little girl named Sarah who has Down's Syndrome and needed a respite worker this summer. Even being raised around people with developmental disorders and traumatic brain injury, I wasn't sure that I was ready for this job. I talked to the family and arranged to meet them before I accepted this position.

That was the night my life changed. If you have never met an angel, then I'm not sure quite how to explain what it is like when you meet one. But Sarah definitely is one. She is an eleven-year-old girl who, although she must be reminded to go to the bathroom all day, every day, checks to make sure that you are okay at the slightest sniffle or cough. She is a fifth grader with no concept of passing time, and so asks for you every morning she wakes up, not understanding that you won't be home for months. And the next time you do see her, she will forgive and forget that you didn't see her sooner and run to give you the biggest hug her tiny self can give. She is a girl with endless patience and determination because, even though she still reads at a first grade level, is bound and determined to make it through her education. She shows love to every passing stranger she sees - saying hello and giving smiles. I have yet to meet anyone in my life who can strike up a pleasant conversation with someone in a public bathroom with someone they have never met, better than Sarah can.

My nineteenth ring will also be marked by an angel in my life who means the world to me and has taught me so much. Be bold and wise enough to recognize when an angel comes into your life - and never let them go.

Sarah blowing bubbles in the park

Sarah being silly

Sarah and me after painting her fingernails

Our last day of summer together

Can We Be Real?

Can I just say something? Just throw it out there? I know that it is going to make a lot of people mad and face thoughts they'd rather not give a second glance. But this is something that needs to be said...

Dying doesn't make someone a good person. Don't get me wrong here. Sometimes after a death, it is a great time to celebrate the good of a person's life. But their death does not change the facts about their life. Good people die, and bad people die. And bad people aren't only the ones who are locked up in jail. It is not my place to judge people and make assumptions about what happens after death. However, I am sick of hearing people reassure families that their loved one is resting with God when there is a strong chance that they are not. Likewise, I am sick of hearing condemnations about who is going to hell, because it is no one's call but God's.

That being said, can we be real? Please don't go to funerals or memorial service to praise the bountiful life of someone you know to be a life-long abuser. Death does not make someone a good person...or a bad person. All we can do is accept at face value the facts we know about their life.

Do you know that it has been hypothesized that had John F. Kennedy lived through his presidency that he would currently be on a list of the Ten Worst Presidents instead of the Ten Best Presidents? An entire country was willing to forget the mistakes that the leader of our country had made in his years in office because his life was taken in such a tragic manner. I was not alive for this event so I can't say much of what my personal opinion would have been of the man, but it is publicknowledge that he made poor presidential decisions - as do all presidents because they are human.

Death is usually a time where we are brought together as family and community to celebrate a life that has reached its finish. But when we remember these indiviuals, we must remember everything about them. It is not only the successes that creates incredibe stamina and character in a person, but the failures, as well. It is not only the abhorrent actions that make someone a monster, but the humanity they still possessed. Every little piece is significant. Death doesn't make people saints or monsters; it only opens our eyes to the realizations about these people that we should have reached while they were alive.

Don't put people on pedestals. They always fall off.

Why You Should Know

1.You are beautiful.
2.Hope is real.
3.Your life can start right now.

Almost eight years ago, I was a girl who thought that she was wise beyond her years and didn't need any help. And to some extent, I guess you could say things haven't necessarily changed all that much. Except they have.

You see, the place I was in was dark, lonely, and superficial. I maintained the facade of a middle-schooler healthily coping with divorce and shattered trust. In reality, I was broken, lost, confused, and angry at almost every single person in my life. If I didn't push them away quickly, it just became a slower, more violent process. Especially my parents and my best friends became my worst enemies. Without boring you with details, it should suffice to say that my house was not a pleasant one and school days were living hell.

I made poor decisions regarding online relationships, depression, and self-injury. It is a story that, sadly, most of our culture has come to view as normal and unproblematic. Just in case you didn't get that, I will run it by you again. Stories like mine, worse than mine, of teens struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, obsession, and thoughts of suicide, are now considered to be normal and acceptable. I hope that you notice how sad that is.

My friend and I discovered an organization shortly after overcoming the worst parts of our struggles. The organization was To Write Love on Her Arms. We were struggling to hold each other accountable and stay afloat. TWLOHA gave us a way to communicate and remind each other that there is, and always will be, hope. TWLOHA is an organization that exists to remind people struggling with the aforementioned issues that hope is real, help is real, and they are not alone in their pain. The organization was established in 2006 as a movement to help a friend who had been rejected from a treatment center because she was "too great a risk." Along with my developing relationship with Christ, TWLOHA has been a constant reminder about how beautiful life is through all of the struggles.

Back in late winter/early spring, an event was promoted through Facebook. The day was known as "Tell Her She's Beautiful" Day. One of my college friends and I were psyched. We spent the night before ignoring studying and preparing hundreds of post-it notes with quips and Bible verses about remembering to love yourself.We woke up as soon as the buildings opened and made a mad dash for all of the girls' restrooms and lockerrooms. Lastly, we scattered through the upstairs of our universities library, hiding post-its in self help books for various mental disorders, including eating disorders and depression. For the rest of the day, we would hear girls laughing and see them smiling as tghey told their friends to go check bathroom mirrors.

It was a great day, and a great cause. However, a large part of me also wants their to be a "Tell Him He's Beautiful" Day. It might seem silly, but everyone deserves to know how beautiful they are. You should know this. You ARE beautiful.

Why you should know:
1. Because you are (beautiful).
2. We are all created in the image of God - is there anything more beautiful and awesome than that?
3. Believe it or not, people look up to you for inspiration
4. Even your smallest action could change the life of someone you meet
5. Because if you listen close enough, it is what God is telling you every day
6. Because believing otherwise won't get you where you need to be
7. Your smile is much more beautiful than your frown.

Life Sucks. Eat Cookies.

It was said as a joke. It was a light-hearted comment about my lack of ability to be perfect. It was a consolatory thought. But think about it... "Life sucks. Eat cookies."

My friend told me this the other day while we were waiting at the Grill. We were maintaining a sarcastic conversation about how she was unfailingly perfect.... because you know, failing perfection makes so much sense. Scratch that. Anyway, I made a comment that I was sad that I would never reach her level of flawlessness and her response was, "Life sucks. Eat cookies." While it was definitely not a pre-planned response, it was so honest.

Why on earth do we take the "failures" in life so seriously? I know that sounds weird...but think about it. Many times "failures" are far beyond our control and yet we spend so much time mourning everything that went wrong. Not that there aren't times for mourning because mourning is a healthy step in dealing with emotions. But dwelling in loss for a lengthy periods of time becomes harmful. It is not attractive to wallow. I mean just think about the word. Wallow. It sounds so empty.

To quote Ferris Bueller - "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." We can't spend forever wallowing in pain and self-pity. We have to remember to live life...not just spend it. This is not a new concept -carpe diem... or carpe noctem. Seize the day. Or seize the night. According to dictionary.com, seize means "to take hold of suddenly or forcibly." Now this is not to say that we should try to direct every aspect of our lives. One of my best friends continually tells me "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." God will work through all the paths that our lives take - whether we listen is totally separate. But, God has already given us all that He can. It is our job to try to cooperate. We can do this by loving and enjoying the life we have.

If we are going to be a "now" society, let us be a positive society.

I think sometimes we forget that we don't have to spend time worrying over everything that went wrong. We forget that there is always a silver lining... even if it is far removed from us directly.

So acknowledge the things that don't go your way (Life sucks.) Then embrace, immerse, and let it go. (Eat cookies.)

For further thoughts check:
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
- The Shack by William P. Young
- The Princess Bride (movie)
- Stranger Than Fiction (movie)
- Fast Car by Tracy Chapman (song)

The Value in Lingering

The time is near for bunnies and chocolate. At least, that is what most of our country is saying right now. And, in all fairness, chocolate and bunnies will always be heart-warming. To me, the saddest thing about this season is that so many people have forgotten what it stands for. This season should be a time of joy, love, laughter, and celebration - but not because a magical bunny decides to leave treats around the yard.

Without getting too preachy, I think that perhaps many people, even - especially - Christians have forgotten what this spring calls us to do. We are called to linger in the thoughts of those who are suffering. We should linger with those who are alone.


I am personally a firm believer in letting every person know that they are not alone. We are intended to be in community. A life of desolation can't be fulfilling and shouldn't be expected. We have become such a part of society that is interested only in personal gain. We forget that sharing experiences and emotion is one of the most beautiful gifts that we have been given. If we are given the choice, must of us, even I, would choose not to have to linger with others in their suffering.


Christ suffered willingly for us. We shouldn't be so proud of a Christ that we aren't willing to love and appreciate for his suffering.

So many people suffer everyday. They suffer at the hands of those they love. They suffer knowing what they want and can't have or at what they have and don't want. But no one can survive suffering alone - at least not for very long. Even Christ had people comfort and help Him on La Via Dela Rosa.

People experience life alone.

Choosing Sight

Maybe it says something that instead of referencing a fable or a cultural proverb, I am choosing to begin this entry with a story that I have received as a chain letter several times in my life. Maybe it says that we have honestly been overcome by technology. I am not sure. But here is a story to contemplate. This story is sometimes called "Whispers" or "God, Answer Me!"

The man whispered, "God, speak to me." A meadowlark sang, but the man did not hear. So the man yelled, "God, speak to me!" Thunder and lightning rolled across the sky, but the man did not listen. The man looked around and said, "God, let me see you." A star shined brightly, but the man did not see. And the man shouted, "God, show me a miracle!" A life was born, but the man did not notice. So, the man ccried out in despair, "Touch me, God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

The man in this story, or parable, if you will, chose to be blind to all the wonderful things God blessd him with experiencing. I was so sure coming into college that I had chosen a place where I would no longer have to deal with the ignorance that comes with blindness. I could not have been more wrong. I have definitely met a few people here who live with their eyes wide open to the good and bad - but mostly, everyone stumbles around in a daze by choice.

It is actually very sad to walk around such a beautiful campus and see so many people completely oblivious to the beauty around them. People don't just choose blindness to beauty, though. It is blindness to need, to abandonment, to self-contempt and deprecation. A chronic blindness exists in our culture to things outside of our individual lives.

Spiritual and social blindness is one of the greatest afflictions of our time. We have been raised in a culture that promotes selfishness and egocentric mentalities. We can't keep living like this. We push people away, we hurt them, we forget that they are human, too. I forget, as I have seen others do, that people exist outside of their relational function to me. My mother does not exist solely to mother me, but also to be a friend, a daughter, a sister, a boss, a light, and a shoulder. I do not exist to her only as a daughter but also as a friend, an ear, a sister in Christ and so many other things. The context that people retain in our lives is only one context of their entire existence. Blindness hinders our ability to see them as human and treat them as such.

I am currently at the National Christian College Forensics Invitational in Cedarville, Ohio. On our way down, we experienced some great difficulties at the airport acquiring the rental vehicles that had been requested on our behalf. Our head coach proceeded to make quite an embarassing and degrading scene in public. At one point he had four people within one company working for what he desired. He wants were understandable but he began treating these workers as if their only purpose in existence was to make his life easier and to accomodate his every desire. The situation was frustrating to everyone but we can't forget in our frustrations that God is the center of our lives. It seemed to most of us that our coach was not acknowledging the existence of these workers as humans - only workers. These people could have had parents or children in the hospital, they could be struggling with addictions, they could be at risk of losing their jobs... we never know.

Last week I was attending the worship service at my university on Sunday night. There were only a few of us and we sat toward the back. The past two weeks have been frustrating for everyone - regardless of the cause. This was our way to unwind and to breathe. For me, God is my breath and life. There is nothing that makes me closer to God than worshipping him barefoot. My friend, who I will refer to as Miss Little Sister (because she is one to me), feels the same way. We found our seats in the mezzanine under the balcony. We removed our shoes and the lights lowered. After the first few songs there was a complete surge of energy in the room. This burst was almost tangible with both of us reaching out for God. And then I felt her touch my arm. I turned to look at her and, with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on a person, she bent to whisper, "Megan, look around for a second..." I turned and all I could see were hands, raised high to God. It was one of the most breath-taking moments I have ever experienced. That energy was the Holy Spirit filling hundreds of broken and hurting hearts, opening eyes, and giving breath to those who forget to breathe. And almost every person in the room was reaching out to God. It was a complete sea of arms and souls raised to Christ, asking for His help.

Our God loves us; this is something we can never forget. With His love for each individual should come also our love and respect for these individuals and their problems. We can't afford the choice to be blind anymore. Our world breeds more hate and we were meant to be the light. So stop, open your eyes, and take a step in a new direction.

"His divine power...has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to persevereance, godliness; and to godliness, bortherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is near-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins." - 2 Peter 1:3-9

Open.

Your.

Eyes.

Deal Breakers

Defined, according to UrbanDictionary.com, as : " 'the catch' that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming qualities the individual may possess."


Almost a month ago, I had one of my good guy friends tell me that everything about me is a deal breaker. He was joking, but this got me thinking. He said that the fact that I was a vegetarian was a deal breaker. He said that me not liking people touching my face is a deal breaker. He continued the list of odd facts about me that are "universal deal breakers."

Now, I don't doubt that God has someone out there for me - but this was just hard to hear. That being said, this is not a friend that I want or expect anything from in regards to a relationship. However, to know that he sees these things that make me who I am as "universal deal breakers" was a sharp pain that I did not expect. I know that I am not breath-takingly gorgeous - and I'm okay with that most days. I am far from perfect but so is everyone. I can be crabby and too outspoke. I can be abrasive and obnoxious. But, of all things, these quirky traits that define me to be deal breakers... I sat completely baffled.

Has our culture become so egocentric that we are unwilling to love the individuality that exists in each person? Has love become an emotion of convenience?

"Oh hey, you don't get on my nerves that much... and your taste in music is decent... want to get married?"

Call me crazy or old-fashioned but...that shouldn't be how it works! Love is something that should start with "redeeming" qualities but move to include flaws as well. If love is qualified by perfection than this would be a sad world because no one would be loved. It's not always easy but it our responsibility as citizens of the world to love to the best of our ability. Whether your love is based in Christ or not, you are still called to love. Not that we can or should love absolutely everyone but everyone does deserve a chance.

According to selfcreation.com, love is accepting, love is appreciating, love is wanting another to feel good. Mother Teresa is known to have said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Love should come before all else.