Way Too Long

So, it has been officially WAY too long since I have updated my blog. Over a month! Yikes! Well I am here now =). The past month with a few exceptions, although far from the best month of my life, was a very telling one. I have spent most of my time (non computer time) talking to God - a lot. I have become more focused and centered on the right priorities more than I have been in a very long time.

SO what has happened this month... hmmm... Well the band banquet and speech lockin were both great fun. Although I have indeed decided that hide-and-seek (in complete darkness) is a game to indeed be played at one's own risk. Nonetheless, it is great fun (minus stinky silly string). I have also been cleared to drive again by my neurologist.

In all honesty though, I have spent most of the past month in prayer. I have begun to notice such simple things about life that I believe I have truly missed up to this point. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day at the Mardi Gras in May fundraiser having fun with my ffriends. There was no drama, no gossip, no anger or tension. It was one of the most beautiful days I can remember. I had forgotten what it was like to simply relax and enjoy the company of those around me and I now found that I indeed quite miss it. After most everyone had left I simply stood by one of the small trees and felt the breeze blow my skirt and lift my hair and felt the sun shining down in a truly gentle manner. I watched the grass roll in waves across the fields and I just remembered how truly beautiful life and simplicity are. I watched the children climb and run and felt the nostalgia flood back as I remembered the days where the biggest problems in life were getting light-up tennis shoes or making sure your favorite crayon never broke.

God created all these things and all these moments to hold and cherish and remember so that when hard times come, not all hope is lost. I can hardly explain to most of you the joy that I know having a personal relationship with God. I probably sound a bit like a Bible-thumper at the moment but trust me, that's not what I am going for. I find comfort in knowing that God loves me - not just because I am Christian, or because He sent His son to die for me but because - simply - I am who I am. I will make mistakes, trivial and colossal, I will lose my hope, light and all desire for existence at some points. But He still wants me. He wants to know me, love me and be accepted by me. He wants to be first in my life and I think that is finnaly where I have put Him. I am impatient, annoying, at times self-centered, and spoiled but all of that disappears when I am humbled by being in His presence.

Lately my heart has been going in an odd direction. I thought I had myself all figured out, but the more I pray, the more I learn about God's plan for me. My heart is being pulled and although i would like to resist where it is being led, I find I can't. This boy, he captivates my attention and makes me lose my thoughts. The timing is certainly not the best for this kind of thing, but if God wants it, then I suppose all will work out.

I certainly hope that this week all of you readers take the time to simply stop and enjoy the simple things in life. Smell a flower, wander through the woods, watch the clouds, or simply lie in a field. Nature can tell us so much more than one would think. Listen to Him, He wants to speak to you - don't be afraid to open up even for the first time.

Also: I love Billy Joel and a good song for the week is his version of The Longest Time