Day 10: Movies That Make Us Cry

Day 10 (12/30/10)

With basically no agenda all day, we woke up late and lay on the couch, partaking in the glorious act of watching movies on and off all day. As our first of the day, we decided to watch Freedom Writers, a movie both K and I love. This was followed by a small break and then a viewing of Eat, Pray, Love before scampering off to Lazer Blaze for an NOHS mini-reunion.

Day 10:

- Two hours of sleeping in

- A plethora of fantastically poignant movies

- One wonderful meal of leftovers

Also on Day 10: Three rounds of lazer tag, one reunion with three wonderful friends, one lint covered black shirt, and one adorable puppy in the basment.

Day 9: Forced Coinciding Schedules

Day 9 (12/29/10)

Today was filled with a fantastic amount of hugs, stories, and good ol' southern comfort in the most rushed of situations. K went with me to visit my former speech coach for lunch, to work with Sarah, and then to my dad's house to catch up with some friends who are in town from Oregon!

Needless to say, it was a rushed day, on a tight schedule, but one full of reunions and familiarity.

Day 9:

- Reunion with friends from across the country

- Recalling eccentric family members

- Delayed Christmas presents

Also on Day 9: One lunch at Zoe's Kitchen, one afternoon with two beautiful little girls, a single game of Scooby-Doo Trouble, three Papa Murphy's pizzas, and one brief spurt of rain.

Day 8: The Arrival of a Sister

Day 8 (12/28/10)

It was an amazing day revolving around the arrival of my roommate from up north! Her flight landed at around 1:30 so we had almost a full day for her to get adjusted and meet most of my family.

I am filled with wonder when I think about the fact that she flew in the air, which she discovered she is not a fan of, all the way to come see me 13 hours away! We then pigged out on internet "junk food" (Facebook) and watched part of The Zeitegist. We then met my mama for dinner and went to go see Little Fockers. It wasn't the best movie in the world but was definitely a great one for a few laughs.

Day 8:

- Two safe plane rides to Chicago and on to Louisville

- Baggage fully intact

- One whole roommate down to visit me!

Also on Day 8: one funny movie, a delicious veggie sandwich at Schloztky's Deli, wonderful time my little angel, Sarah, one shared apple turnover, 3 favorite songs on the radio (in a row), and one time-accurate GPS

Day 7: Invasion of the Critters

Day 7 (12/27/10)

Today was filled with very necessary but obnoxious amounts of waiting for things to be done. My windshield got replaces...and in the process, my rearview mirror was broken. I waited some more and then took the dog for a walk. I waited some more and the exterminator came to check out the noises that I was hearing in the attic last night.

This last visit resulted in a diagnosis of the invasion of birds, definitely, squirrels, probably, and mice too many in number to count. The consequences being - you guessed it - more waiting. We waited for the screen to be installed and for mouse bait to be placed and an invoice to be written. All in all - a lesson in patience.

Day 7:

- A kind man who helped remove the critters in the ceiling above my bed

- A poor bunny who got stuck in the fence to McGregor's garden

- A lovely walk with Mama and Bear around the chilly and beautiful neighborhood

Also on Day 7: One pair of comfortable pajamas, the delicious smell of Christmas dinner leftovers, one great U of L basketball game, and T minus 18 hours until K arrives at the Louisville Airport.

Day 6: The Joy of Children

Day 6 (12/26/10)

Today was a fantastic day filled with family. my aunt, uncle, and two little cousins came down from Indiana last night and we had Christmas at my dad's house. I know 20 is not old, but it seems like already I have forgotten the magical bliss of being a little kid. To experience a re-enactment of Christmas morning with a 5- and 7-year-old.

Every present was the end all, be all. Every stuffed animal was a new best friend. Every book was a new adventure to dive into. Every smile had enough wattage to power the Northpole for a year. If only we could remember what it is like to be filled with that joy and surprise at every detail on Christmas (or the day after) morning.

Day 6:

- Wrapping paper mountains that hide the floor

- Uninhibited excitement in my sisters and cousins

- Contentment in seeing one entire side of my family together

Also on Day 6: great football games, lack of blizzard hitting our house, one Dairy Queen Home Blizzard Machine, one afternoon nap, the innocent stare of a completely deaf dog, chips and dip, buying three new books, and purchasing one present.

Day 5: An Important Birthday

Day 5 (12/25/10)

As most of you know, today was Christmas. Without getting preachy or cliche, I just want everybody to think about what origins this celebration has and remember how lucky we are that we have what we have.

Today should have been about love. It is about hope. Joy. Contentment. Warmth. Family. Friends. Candy. You get the picture.

Day 5:

- Celebrating the greatest love in all the world

- Seeing the love between generations of parents and children

- Appreciating a room lit up a night

Also on Day 5: Great laughter, ridiculous movie and television marathons, cuddling up with my puppy, sleeping with the Christmas tree, and being surrounded by family.

Day 4: Southern Cheer and a Good Cry

Day 4 (12/24/10)

It's already Christmas Eve! Actually, in T minus 29 minutes it will be Christmas!!! Fantastic!

Well, Day 4. An early morning waking up with my puppy on my bed was a great start to the day. I then began the search for a fun new fruity desert recipe to take to Northern Kentucky for the annual Christmas Eve party. Then came braving the grocery store over egg replacer, which they didn't have, and a debate about whether or not clementine rinds should be blended into the cake, which they were.

Church was fantastic, but short. A sermon on a gift, a promise, and a question. Then the invention of my new frosting for my new cake, a road trip up, a night of fun, and a road trip back.
And the best part of this Christmas Eve - snow.

Day 4

- Simple traditions like sitting at the table every year

- Curious discussions of the market of breast milk

-Remembering the people in our lives that have changed us forever

Also on Day 4: Tears over the ones who have passed, Papa (grandpa) being released from the hospital, new slippers, holding ridiculous poses for family pictures, too much wine for too many women, and snow falling in time for Christmas morning.

Day 3: Hustle and Bustle and Christmas Time

Day 3 (12/23/10)

Today was filled with last minute Christmas shopping,w hich I honestly hardly ever need to do. Even though, or perhaps because I am a broke college student, I for some reason feel like it is a small step toward adulthood to begin buying most everyone Christmas presents of my own instead of letting my parents pick out stuff that I slap my name on. The only problem? Part of my family is just ridiculously hard to buy for! You know those people, the ones who would be happy with anything but not really because they are a little picky so you want to get them just the right thing.


Well... yeah, my day was spent shopping for those people. And despite some extreme traffic and frustration (which I solved with Christmas music on the radio), it all got done. The wrapping is finished and all under the tree. my mom and I even got to watch Love Actually for the first time - which is, in fact, a great movie once you get past the odd beginning.

Day 3:

- Joy of picking out the perfect gift

- Wrapping gifts for under the tree

- Seeing a room filled with love and warmth

Also on Day 3, Contacts transferred to my new purple phone, quality time with Mom, curling ribbon, watching stories about children in love, and knowing that we have almost survived the year!

Day 2: Reunion

Day 2 (12/22/10)

My adventure dealt a lot with my step-grandfather, Papa, being in the hospital. He has an infection that could be affecting him because of the lymphoma he was diagnosed with last week. Hopefully he will be home again before Christmas.

However, after the struggles with hospitals and doctors, I was able to go see the little girl, Sarah, that I worked with last summer. She was so excited to have me there and be around her. Her childlikenjoy in every small thing reminds of how much true good there is in life that we ignore.

Day 2:

-A child's love

-Endless smiles

-The Princess and the Frog

Day One: My Excellent Adventure Begins

Subtitled: Beating Teen Pregnancy



Preface: A few years ago, I heard of a group people that set out to take one picture every day that captured the essence of their daily journey. At first, I scoffed and probably said something along the lines of "Yeah - that won't last very long. There wil be like dozens of pictures of the same things!" And then I jsut sort of let it go for a while. And then came my sophomore year of college. And I, the person usually advocating for slowing down and enjoying life, stopped taking her own medicine. And then it was gone - an entire semester full of uphill battles, and stress, and struggles... and laughter... and love... and hope. And I realized that I was losing my ability to remember the good things about this life and I panicked. For some reason, when I went running back to God that night - as we tend to do when things fall apart, this memory of these people came back. I bounced the idea off of several people and they mostly scoffed.


But here I am. It is my 20th birthday today and I have decided that this is where it starts. So every day for the next 365 days, I will take one, or multiple photographs each day representing the good in my life. If you follow this, you will begin this journey with me.


I am sorry if some days are tedious, lackluster, sad, or angry - but those days happen sometimes. However, rest assured, that this is an attempt for me to re-awaken to the beauty in this world. I am starting this journey and you are more than welcome to come along.



Day One: My rewards for beating teen pregnancy and making it half-way to 40 include the following items
-A gemstone embellished picture frame
-A white and turquoise homemade bracelet
-A beautiful gold ribbon because sometimes the wrapping says it all


Also on Day One: a ticket to Black Swan, one glove/mitten combo set, one set of pinking shears, two new nostril screws, a pair of earrings to match the bracelet in picture above, a DSW gift card, twenty dollars cash, Snowman with Sunglasses socks, a bracelet from a Fair Trade Market, multiple ridiculously goofy cards, and an infinite amount of love and joy from the people that fill my life.

The Secret

For centuries, the human race has been plagued by a continual battle. The battle is the Battle of the Sexs. I know it sounds ridiculous but lately, this concept has just got me thinking about how pretty much everything functions.

So, guys, listen up. Because I am only going to type this once. The secret to understanding girls and winning this ridiculous "battle" is knowing (drumroll, please) that women have absolutely no clue what they want. And if they tell you that they do, what they want is probably not what is best for them. Women have admitted before and men have heard it before.

But seriously. Please think about this. I have talked to most of my closest girls about it for years and they will all agree. We have no freaking clue what we want. I am not saying that to confuse you or mislead you or play a joke.

Every woman has a jumble of things that compose her and for the most part, these "ingredients," so to speak, are the same for every woman. The difference is the ratio. Just like you have the same basic ingredients that make cookies. Every recipe, the majority of the time, uses the basuc foundational ingredients: flour, sugar, butter, eggs, salt, etc., etc.,. The interesting thing is that every recipe is a little different. Or even if you use the same recipe twice, you rarely get a batch of cookies that ever come out tasting the same. It's just the way cookies work. It's just the way women work.


SO on days when you want to pull your hair out or hit someone or break something over a woman, please remember this secret. It may bring you more trouble than it's worth... but I hope that on those days you can remember reading this secret or hearing it from someone else and know that we are just as confused and frustrated as you.


Soundtrack: Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind, Unwell by Matchbox Twenty

The Poet

Here is the link to an article about my new favorite author!

http://kodanshatimes.blogspot.com

Can I Sit With You Awhile?

I don't know what this will end up being. I don't particularly have any more motivation to sit here and write tonight than I have had any other night for the past three weeks. Every night has been full with this same buzzing anxiety and dread and brokenness. I don't expect things to change after I sit here and pound out this message. I may not even actually post this. But I feel so pent up and so lost in my thoughts that studying for my midterm that takes place in T minus 11 hours just isn't going to happen.

Our world is so full of contradictions. Has anyone else noticed that? We live in a world where money is happiness but no one is happy. We live in a global community where we coexist with others from virtually every background and we are more stuck in our ways than ever. We value family and we value the person who shuns family to achieve success. We preserve nature so we can remember "the way things were" and tear it down to forget the past. We want to solve everyone's problems but we don't see our own. We see the need for love but refuse to be the love.

I am baffled. Where do we stand? Where are we supposed to stand?

Virtually every person that I hold dear to my heart has been hurt in the past month by others, by themselves, by accidents. I know that this is the least cohesive entry I have ever written... I do. But all these thoughts are running a million miles and hour and I can't slow down. How does it happen that within my small network of people, so much hurt exists? And not a single person slows down to try to fix the problem? We all acknowledge the problem but we all assume that the problem will be resolved later. I wil get sleep... later. I will get counseling... later. I will restore my friendhsips... later. I will say goodbye to my loved ones... later. I will stop beating myself up...later.

Can we just freaking wake up and fix a problem? I don't even care which one anymore! I just want to see one person slow down and realize that later might not be there. For a lot of people, they never get later.

I am just as guilty of all of these as the next person. Sleep, health, destressing, homework, heart to hearts - it will all come when I have time. But when do I ever make time?

I don't. Plain and simple. I don't make time. And it's a problem.

The essay that I am supposed to be brainstorming and outlining for at the present moment is an essay on the accessability of "virtue" as defined by Alasdair MacIntyre - don't worry, I have no clue who he is. But basically, MacIntyre surmises that "virtue" is what is found to be necessary in our quest for "the good life." So, at one in the morning, instead of applying this to the Arthurian tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, I am going to pause and actually put something I learned to use.

Virtue 1) Patience: This probably does not shock you in the slightest. Nevertheless, I am going to say it because no one seems to be getting what I am saying. To achieve what I see as "the good life," (and this will look different for everyone), we need to have some patience. We need it with ourselves because we aren't perfect. We need it with others because they aren't perfect either. We also need to remember that hurriedness and frustration and impatience only cut us off building healthy and loving relationships with the people we love.

Virtue 2) Resignation: Now I can almost guarantee that you did not see that coming. But, seriously. Think about it for a second. We become either overly concerned with problems, ours or anothers. On the flip side, we become overly convinced that everyone else will deal with our problems and that there is nothing we can do about it. Both are resignation at polar extremes. This is bad - but resignation in moderation is a virtue. Resign yourself to the fact that no matter how hard you work, how little you care, how much you invested, how little you want back - things won't go your way 100% of the time. Don't stress yourself over stuff that can't be helped, but remember to stress about the things that will make a difference. Another oxymoron - surprise, surprise.

Virtue 3) Empathy. This virtue is perhaps most important of all. "The good life" has to be a life where we don't necessarily agree with everyone but we definitely need to understand everyone. Ignorance is bliss is a great philosophy but an idealist one that only holds true once in a blue moon. We can't be ignorant to the problems around us and the tension that exists in this world because otherwise, we won't be able to fight for what we believe. Empathy opens pathways for clearer and more efficient communication. That sounds slightly robotic but it honestly isn't. Clear communication helps us appeal to truer emotions so that we not only gain an understanding of perspective but also of the human heart.

I know that this blog entry has been a hot mess - but it is all I can write. My head and my heart are overflowing. This is my word vomit of the week. Part two might come later. Thanks for reading and please take the time to think about the virtues in your life.

The Space Between the Rocks

Life is changing. I know it, you know it, we all know it. Look around you and compare it to things you remember from yesterday, or a year ago, or a decade ago. How much do you recognize?

I don't recognize much. Winn-Dixie and the fascinating lobster tank are gone. The horse pastures are covered with million dollar homes, new schools, and chain food restaurants. My pre-school is gone, donated to the fire department to be used as rescue practice. The pond we went to for in-school field trips has been filled in. Simon's Apothecary is hanging on by a thread. And I am starting to realize that I am very NOT okay with these changes.

In fact, these changes are the most awful form of torture ever invented. And it sucks. Because it shows me that our society isn't dedicated to the long-term anymore. We are solely dedicated to what works now - this instant - even when we know that it will quit working with another blink of an eye.

And it breaks my heart because I feel myself giving in to this culture. I feel myself becoming someone who takes the easy road - whether that is faking a smile or whining constantly or running away - I feel that urge to give in.

This is an issue.

Christ does not call us to take the easy road or the road of comfort. If we live life in comfort, how do we ever find the afflicted? How do we help the people in this world that need to be reached the most? I am a firm believer that, not for everyone, but, personally, Christ has called me to become uncomfortable in my faith and in my life.

But to be completely honest, I have no freaking clue where to start. And I don't feel worthy. The past few days I have learned that I have a naturally jealous personality and, as you can probably imagine, it is not a very reassuring thing to learn about one's self. But I have no idea where to start to fix the problem. My natural reaction is to want to talk but that is wanting to be at the center and I know that I can't continue to feed that need. But then where do I draw help? Or, don't I draw help?

Until I have an answer, I will continue to try to solve this alone... and yet, I know that to live God's love is not to isolate myself. How do we seek love and support in isolation?

I am sorry for the melancholy entry - but nothing in this world makes sense to me right now and this is the only way I know to deal with it.

Living all alone

In this space between the rocks

Far from the city,

Here, where no noe can see me,

I shall give myself to grief.

~Saigyo

The Nineteenth Ring

One of the most interesting and beautiful things about nature is that it keeps its own record. Have you ever seen a tree stump? Even if you haven't you may already know this, but for every year that a tree has lived, it forms a ring. This happens in such a fashion that if you took a slice of the trunk of a tree, you could count how long that tree has lived. Ecologists can even analyze what happened in certain years based on the markings or colors from different rings. A tree stump can tell stories of disease, draught, and years where life was thriving.

So this is my nineteenth ring. And even though past rings may be marked with pits or discoloration, every year I get a fresh start - a new ring to create. The amazing things about tree rings is that we can see how life moves on - whether the year was overwhelming, underwhelming, or simply there in the shade.

So far, I see this ring marked with scars from fighting - fighting for Christ. This year has been exhausting with all the faith challenges that have come up. From living on a campus that is dealing with racial and sexual orientation discrimination to dealing with the harsh family of my new friend to having my best friend on the other side of the planet for a year, it has been a struggle.

But in these struggles, I have found blessings. And one of them has a name - Sarah Basham. In the spring I got a call from a soworker at Great Clips saying that she might have a better summer job for me. She told me about a little girl named Sarah who has Down's Syndrome and needed a respite worker this summer. Even being raised around people with developmental disorders and traumatic brain injury, I wasn't sure that I was ready for this job. I talked to the family and arranged to meet them before I accepted this position.

That was the night my life changed. If you have never met an angel, then I'm not sure quite how to explain what it is like when you meet one. But Sarah definitely is one. She is an eleven-year-old girl who, although she must be reminded to go to the bathroom all day, every day, checks to make sure that you are okay at the slightest sniffle or cough. She is a fifth grader with no concept of passing time, and so asks for you every morning she wakes up, not understanding that you won't be home for months. And the next time you do see her, she will forgive and forget that you didn't see her sooner and run to give you the biggest hug her tiny self can give. She is a girl with endless patience and determination because, even though she still reads at a first grade level, is bound and determined to make it through her education. She shows love to every passing stranger she sees - saying hello and giving smiles. I have yet to meet anyone in my life who can strike up a pleasant conversation with someone in a public bathroom with someone they have never met, better than Sarah can.

My nineteenth ring will also be marked by an angel in my life who means the world to me and has taught me so much. Be bold and wise enough to recognize when an angel comes into your life - and never let them go.

Sarah blowing bubbles in the park

Sarah being silly

Sarah and me after painting her fingernails

Our last day of summer together

Can We Be Real?

Can I just say something? Just throw it out there? I know that it is going to make a lot of people mad and face thoughts they'd rather not give a second glance. But this is something that needs to be said...

Dying doesn't make someone a good person. Don't get me wrong here. Sometimes after a death, it is a great time to celebrate the good of a person's life. But their death does not change the facts about their life. Good people die, and bad people die. And bad people aren't only the ones who are locked up in jail. It is not my place to judge people and make assumptions about what happens after death. However, I am sick of hearing people reassure families that their loved one is resting with God when there is a strong chance that they are not. Likewise, I am sick of hearing condemnations about who is going to hell, because it is no one's call but God's.

That being said, can we be real? Please don't go to funerals or memorial service to praise the bountiful life of someone you know to be a life-long abuser. Death does not make someone a good person...or a bad person. All we can do is accept at face value the facts we know about their life.

Do you know that it has been hypothesized that had John F. Kennedy lived through his presidency that he would currently be on a list of the Ten Worst Presidents instead of the Ten Best Presidents? An entire country was willing to forget the mistakes that the leader of our country had made in his years in office because his life was taken in such a tragic manner. I was not alive for this event so I can't say much of what my personal opinion would have been of the man, but it is publicknowledge that he made poor presidential decisions - as do all presidents because they are human.

Death is usually a time where we are brought together as family and community to celebrate a life that has reached its finish. But when we remember these indiviuals, we must remember everything about them. It is not only the successes that creates incredibe stamina and character in a person, but the failures, as well. It is not only the abhorrent actions that make someone a monster, but the humanity they still possessed. Every little piece is significant. Death doesn't make people saints or monsters; it only opens our eyes to the realizations about these people that we should have reached while they were alive.

Don't put people on pedestals. They always fall off.

Why You Should Know

1.You are beautiful.
2.Hope is real.
3.Your life can start right now.

Almost eight years ago, I was a girl who thought that she was wise beyond her years and didn't need any help. And to some extent, I guess you could say things haven't necessarily changed all that much. Except they have.

You see, the place I was in was dark, lonely, and superficial. I maintained the facade of a middle-schooler healthily coping with divorce and shattered trust. In reality, I was broken, lost, confused, and angry at almost every single person in my life. If I didn't push them away quickly, it just became a slower, more violent process. Especially my parents and my best friends became my worst enemies. Without boring you with details, it should suffice to say that my house was not a pleasant one and school days were living hell.

I made poor decisions regarding online relationships, depression, and self-injury. It is a story that, sadly, most of our culture has come to view as normal and unproblematic. Just in case you didn't get that, I will run it by you again. Stories like mine, worse than mine, of teens struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, obsession, and thoughts of suicide, are now considered to be normal and acceptable. I hope that you notice how sad that is.

My friend and I discovered an organization shortly after overcoming the worst parts of our struggles. The organization was To Write Love on Her Arms. We were struggling to hold each other accountable and stay afloat. TWLOHA gave us a way to communicate and remind each other that there is, and always will be, hope. TWLOHA is an organization that exists to remind people struggling with the aforementioned issues that hope is real, help is real, and they are not alone in their pain. The organization was established in 2006 as a movement to help a friend who had been rejected from a treatment center because she was "too great a risk." Along with my developing relationship with Christ, TWLOHA has been a constant reminder about how beautiful life is through all of the struggles.

Back in late winter/early spring, an event was promoted through Facebook. The day was known as "Tell Her She's Beautiful" Day. One of my college friends and I were psyched. We spent the night before ignoring studying and preparing hundreds of post-it notes with quips and Bible verses about remembering to love yourself.We woke up as soon as the buildings opened and made a mad dash for all of the girls' restrooms and lockerrooms. Lastly, we scattered through the upstairs of our universities library, hiding post-its in self help books for various mental disorders, including eating disorders and depression. For the rest of the day, we would hear girls laughing and see them smiling as tghey told their friends to go check bathroom mirrors.

It was a great day, and a great cause. However, a large part of me also wants their to be a "Tell Him He's Beautiful" Day. It might seem silly, but everyone deserves to know how beautiful they are. You should know this. You ARE beautiful.

Why you should know:
1. Because you are (beautiful).
2. We are all created in the image of God - is there anything more beautiful and awesome than that?
3. Believe it or not, people look up to you for inspiration
4. Even your smallest action could change the life of someone you meet
5. Because if you listen close enough, it is what God is telling you every day
6. Because believing otherwise won't get you where you need to be
7. Your smile is much more beautiful than your frown.

Life Sucks. Eat Cookies.

It was said as a joke. It was a light-hearted comment about my lack of ability to be perfect. It was a consolatory thought. But think about it... "Life sucks. Eat cookies."

My friend told me this the other day while we were waiting at the Grill. We were maintaining a sarcastic conversation about how she was unfailingly perfect.... because you know, failing perfection makes so much sense. Scratch that. Anyway, I made a comment that I was sad that I would never reach her level of flawlessness and her response was, "Life sucks. Eat cookies." While it was definitely not a pre-planned response, it was so honest.

Why on earth do we take the "failures" in life so seriously? I know that sounds weird...but think about it. Many times "failures" are far beyond our control and yet we spend so much time mourning everything that went wrong. Not that there aren't times for mourning because mourning is a healthy step in dealing with emotions. But dwelling in loss for a lengthy periods of time becomes harmful. It is not attractive to wallow. I mean just think about the word. Wallow. It sounds so empty.

To quote Ferris Bueller - "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." We can't spend forever wallowing in pain and self-pity. We have to remember to live life...not just spend it. This is not a new concept -carpe diem... or carpe noctem. Seize the day. Or seize the night. According to dictionary.com, seize means "to take hold of suddenly or forcibly." Now this is not to say that we should try to direct every aspect of our lives. One of my best friends continually tells me "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." God will work through all the paths that our lives take - whether we listen is totally separate. But, God has already given us all that He can. It is our job to try to cooperate. We can do this by loving and enjoying the life we have.

If we are going to be a "now" society, let us be a positive society.

I think sometimes we forget that we don't have to spend time worrying over everything that went wrong. We forget that there is always a silver lining... even if it is far removed from us directly.

So acknowledge the things that don't go your way (Life sucks.) Then embrace, immerse, and let it go. (Eat cookies.)

For further thoughts check:
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
- The Shack by William P. Young
- The Princess Bride (movie)
- Stranger Than Fiction (movie)
- Fast Car by Tracy Chapman (song)

The Value in Lingering

The time is near for bunnies and chocolate. At least, that is what most of our country is saying right now. And, in all fairness, chocolate and bunnies will always be heart-warming. To me, the saddest thing about this season is that so many people have forgotten what it stands for. This season should be a time of joy, love, laughter, and celebration - but not because a magical bunny decides to leave treats around the yard.

Without getting too preachy, I think that perhaps many people, even - especially - Christians have forgotten what this spring calls us to do. We are called to linger in the thoughts of those who are suffering. We should linger with those who are alone.


I am personally a firm believer in letting every person know that they are not alone. We are intended to be in community. A life of desolation can't be fulfilling and shouldn't be expected. We have become such a part of society that is interested only in personal gain. We forget that sharing experiences and emotion is one of the most beautiful gifts that we have been given. If we are given the choice, must of us, even I, would choose not to have to linger with others in their suffering.


Christ suffered willingly for us. We shouldn't be so proud of a Christ that we aren't willing to love and appreciate for his suffering.

So many people suffer everyday. They suffer at the hands of those they love. They suffer knowing what they want and can't have or at what they have and don't want. But no one can survive suffering alone - at least not for very long. Even Christ had people comfort and help Him on La Via Dela Rosa.

People experience life alone.

Choosing Sight

Maybe it says something that instead of referencing a fable or a cultural proverb, I am choosing to begin this entry with a story that I have received as a chain letter several times in my life. Maybe it says that we have honestly been overcome by technology. I am not sure. But here is a story to contemplate. This story is sometimes called "Whispers" or "God, Answer Me!"

The man whispered, "God, speak to me." A meadowlark sang, but the man did not hear. So the man yelled, "God, speak to me!" Thunder and lightning rolled across the sky, but the man did not listen. The man looked around and said, "God, let me see you." A star shined brightly, but the man did not see. And the man shouted, "God, show me a miracle!" A life was born, but the man did not notice. So, the man ccried out in despair, "Touch me, God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

The man in this story, or parable, if you will, chose to be blind to all the wonderful things God blessd him with experiencing. I was so sure coming into college that I had chosen a place where I would no longer have to deal with the ignorance that comes with blindness. I could not have been more wrong. I have definitely met a few people here who live with their eyes wide open to the good and bad - but mostly, everyone stumbles around in a daze by choice.

It is actually very sad to walk around such a beautiful campus and see so many people completely oblivious to the beauty around them. People don't just choose blindness to beauty, though. It is blindness to need, to abandonment, to self-contempt and deprecation. A chronic blindness exists in our culture to things outside of our individual lives.

Spiritual and social blindness is one of the greatest afflictions of our time. We have been raised in a culture that promotes selfishness and egocentric mentalities. We can't keep living like this. We push people away, we hurt them, we forget that they are human, too. I forget, as I have seen others do, that people exist outside of their relational function to me. My mother does not exist solely to mother me, but also to be a friend, a daughter, a sister, a boss, a light, and a shoulder. I do not exist to her only as a daughter but also as a friend, an ear, a sister in Christ and so many other things. The context that people retain in our lives is only one context of their entire existence. Blindness hinders our ability to see them as human and treat them as such.

I am currently at the National Christian College Forensics Invitational in Cedarville, Ohio. On our way down, we experienced some great difficulties at the airport acquiring the rental vehicles that had been requested on our behalf. Our head coach proceeded to make quite an embarassing and degrading scene in public. At one point he had four people within one company working for what he desired. He wants were understandable but he began treating these workers as if their only purpose in existence was to make his life easier and to accomodate his every desire. The situation was frustrating to everyone but we can't forget in our frustrations that God is the center of our lives. It seemed to most of us that our coach was not acknowledging the existence of these workers as humans - only workers. These people could have had parents or children in the hospital, they could be struggling with addictions, they could be at risk of losing their jobs... we never know.

Last week I was attending the worship service at my university on Sunday night. There were only a few of us and we sat toward the back. The past two weeks have been frustrating for everyone - regardless of the cause. This was our way to unwind and to breathe. For me, God is my breath and life. There is nothing that makes me closer to God than worshipping him barefoot. My friend, who I will refer to as Miss Little Sister (because she is one to me), feels the same way. We found our seats in the mezzanine under the balcony. We removed our shoes and the lights lowered. After the first few songs there was a complete surge of energy in the room. This burst was almost tangible with both of us reaching out for God. And then I felt her touch my arm. I turned to look at her and, with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on a person, she bent to whisper, "Megan, look around for a second..." I turned and all I could see were hands, raised high to God. It was one of the most breath-taking moments I have ever experienced. That energy was the Holy Spirit filling hundreds of broken and hurting hearts, opening eyes, and giving breath to those who forget to breathe. And almost every person in the room was reaching out to God. It was a complete sea of arms and souls raised to Christ, asking for His help.

Our God loves us; this is something we can never forget. With His love for each individual should come also our love and respect for these individuals and their problems. We can't afford the choice to be blind anymore. Our world breeds more hate and we were meant to be the light. So stop, open your eyes, and take a step in a new direction.

"His divine power...has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to persevereance, godliness; and to godliness, bortherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is near-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins." - 2 Peter 1:3-9

Open.

Your.

Eyes.

Deal Breakers

Defined, according to UrbanDictionary.com, as : " 'the catch' that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming qualities the individual may possess."


Almost a month ago, I had one of my good guy friends tell me that everything about me is a deal breaker. He was joking, but this got me thinking. He said that the fact that I was a vegetarian was a deal breaker. He said that me not liking people touching my face is a deal breaker. He continued the list of odd facts about me that are "universal deal breakers."

Now, I don't doubt that God has someone out there for me - but this was just hard to hear. That being said, this is not a friend that I want or expect anything from in regards to a relationship. However, to know that he sees these things that make me who I am as "universal deal breakers" was a sharp pain that I did not expect. I know that I am not breath-takingly gorgeous - and I'm okay with that most days. I am far from perfect but so is everyone. I can be crabby and too outspoke. I can be abrasive and obnoxious. But, of all things, these quirky traits that define me to be deal breakers... I sat completely baffled.

Has our culture become so egocentric that we are unwilling to love the individuality that exists in each person? Has love become an emotion of convenience?

"Oh hey, you don't get on my nerves that much... and your taste in music is decent... want to get married?"

Call me crazy or old-fashioned but...that shouldn't be how it works! Love is something that should start with "redeeming" qualities but move to include flaws as well. If love is qualified by perfection than this would be a sad world because no one would be loved. It's not always easy but it our responsibility as citizens of the world to love to the best of our ability. Whether your love is based in Christ or not, you are still called to love. Not that we can or should love absolutely everyone but everyone does deserve a chance.

According to selfcreation.com, love is accepting, love is appreciating, love is wanting another to feel good. Mother Teresa is known to have said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Love should come before all else.

Some More Change and Some Lint

So, I think I have figured it out. Slightly, at least...definitely not all the way. We are called, not to just reach out, but to be proactive in our faith. And only proactive. Being active isn't good enough, it must be positive.

Ephesians 4:2-3 and 5:1-2 say these things respectively, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace... Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us..."

We are called to love, patience, peace, humility, and gentleness... all of the qualities we see in Christ. It is so important that we remember to not only be active but be proactive. I so often let myself that proaction can never be abrupt and eye-opening - but it absolutely can be. God will use the most unusual and negative circumstances to open doorways to Him.

Now, this is not to say that we should just around creating negative situations - this is absolutely not the case. But we do need to make ourselves noticed. If proaction is not noticable, it may as well be no action at all. The word holy means to be set apart - specifically in Christ. And this is exactly what proaction should be.

So my challenge for you is that within a week of this, you do something noticably kind for someone. Even if you aren't a believer in Christ, a) thank you for reading this and b) look for opportunities to reach out. Sometimes byreachng out, we begin to see all the doors that God has opened to us in previous situations. And I promise, He is trying.
I would like for my non-religious friends to understand the message I am conveying here clearly. God will use you - believer or not - to create eye-opening events for the people around you...but only if yo accept proaction. Think of the movie Pay It Forward. Haley Joel Osment plays Trevor McKinney - a twelve-year-old boy who sees something that many, many, many adults never understand. It just takes three small act of kindness to others, for every one done for you, to affect millions of people.

I am actually in a Basic Communications course right now and just tonight I read about that fact the effective communication and positive communication with others is a key factor in mental health and stability. Other than spiritual soundness, there are other benefits of reaching out. I urge you to do one noticable act of kindness within a week of your opening of this blog and then post your story as a comment. If you don't feel comfortable sharing, you don't need to but it would be beautiful to see some stories.

To see some as a start check out this beautiful website. Have a great and interesting week - may God move your feet =)

Playlist: Reign in Us - Starfield, The Time Has Come - Hillsong United, Imagine - John Lennon, World - Five for Fighting, Waitin' On the World to Change - John Mayer

My Thoughts for a Penny and Change

Proactive. "Pro-" = for. "Act" = do. "-ive" = condition.

Proactive: To be for doing. To want to do. To do in favor of.

Passivity is such a major issue in our sociecty. It is so much of who we are and we don't even know it. We are taught as children to let other people deal with their problems. Don't intrude on other people's business. Let people have their own opinions - even if they are wrong. And to some degree, these things are the only things that keep our society functioning. But it is easy to wonder where the meaning in these lessons gets lost.

It is not our business to be intrusive, but our responsibility as members of society to reach out to those who are blatantly hurting. Everyone does have a right to their opinion - no matter what it is - but letting ignorance pass does not bode well for a culture that is already becoming self-destructive.

It seems to me that we have forgotten how to care about the people around us. We walk down the streets and turn blind eyes to the ssues that plague so much of our culture. I can't afford to be this passive anymore. The more I ignore the pain of others, the more tolerable pain is. I become okay with not reaching out, with sitting right where I am and letting others exist in a world separately from me. But this is not how we are called to live.

We are called to be so restlessness in our faith that we cannot be happy with ourselves. We are meant to be so restless, that we need to move for Christ every day. So what if our natural need for movement and change is our Godliness? What if our contentment for life is exactly the opposite of what God calls for in our lives and our thoughts?

I guess, reader, that today I am just bouncing ideas off of you. Giving you some life questions to mull. I wish I could elaborate on these questions but I myself haven't entirely organized my thoughts yet...maybe I will save the rest of these thoughts for another day. Rain check.

God calls us to be restless in our faith. We should never settle for something that isn't perfect.

Playlist:
Solution - Hillsong United, 2 A.M. - Anna Nalick, I Know the Truth - Aida Soundtrack